The Value of Unplugging


forest wifi

When I was in Nicaragua, I found myself away from social media quite a bit. I did the odd posting of images because so many were asking for them. But for the most part, and because wifi didn’t just grow on trees there…I stayed offline. I had no idea what kind of an impact that would have on me…until I realized how much I didn’t miss it.

I found when I returned home, I didn’t care to be online as much. In fact, I noticed I started to retreat a bit. It was nice to share about my trip…but when I realized I wasn’t always doing it for me…that was when I took a step back and reevaluated how I engage online…and in general! You can very easily get sucked into the instant gratification that is social media. That second you post and you see the ‘likes’ roll in. The comments/compliments that come along that seem to fill your empty confidence bucket. But when you take a step back from all of that you soon realize that there isn’t much value in it all. In this world of instant gratification, we seem to look to social media to help us feel whole, loved, valued…and not alone. But it can very easily become a quick fix to an even bigger issue. I soon realized that my time offline gave me the freedom to discover all of that in private and in a world beyond a computer screen.

I had never understood before how people felt the need to unplug and take a hiatus from facebook. I mean..really? You are going to leave? How will you know what I am up to? How will you know what is happening in the world? Well my ten day hiatus gave me the chance to see what they were talking about. You can find out what is happening in the world by plugging yourself into it…literally! Getting outside, traveling to another country, experiencing people I hadn’t met before…I received way more knowledge and fulfillment in those moments,  in those ten days, than I ever had on social media.

And I started to lose interest in people knowing what I was up to all of the time. I had been a very public person for so long, that taking a step back I started to see that though others may get value from it….I sometimes wasn’t. In fact, it was starting to suck some of the life from me. I felt like I had to share what I was doing because I felt it was expected. But there are moments that I felt I was giving so much more of myself but didn’t have much left to give TO myself.

I’ve been talking a lot about this with people in my life recently, but one conversation in particular was a huge eye opener to me. I had met someone for dinner a couple weeks back and his comment to me was ‘I find I know so much more about you than I do of those I even work with or some of my own friends’. Now this is someone whom I have met twice. I shrugged it off in the moment but couldn’t shake the fact that he wasn’t alone. I had heard this before. And though I am glad to be able to share my story with others, there is a part of me that truly misses the time where no one knew my name. Because all of sudden that is all you become: the story, the things people have heard, the label, a brand. And when new people come into your life that is all they see at first. It’s a struggle because you are so much more than that. You are more than the posts people see on facebook, you are more than the story behind a successful campaign, you are more than that and all you wish is for people to see that.

So I’m spending more time (when not at work) away from the screens and plugging more in with my closest friends who know me inside and out and beyond the story and images. I’m taking more time to find out who I am beyond the story I share. I’m finding the time to appreciate life in its private moments. I have found value in sharing some parts of my this post…through social media or speaking engagements because it gets others thinking about their lives and how much they should value it…just as it does for me. I also realize that I have the control in what I share and so I choose to do so more wisely…instead of leaving everything out there for the world to see, I choose to show small glimpses of it where I get value in sharing as well. Learning to give without it being an expense to your well being is a lesson worth learning!

I’m realizing not all that happens in life needs to be shared and that sometimes it holds more meaning and value when we can cherish and hold onto it just for ourselves.

seat at table

One Month…ish



It has been (just over) one month since I returned from one incredible adventure in Nicaragua.

It has been (just over) one month since I moved into my new home.

It has been (over) one month since I started a new job.

I think I have had enough change for now… 😉

It’s been awhile since I have written but from the lines above, I am sure you can understand why. A LOT has been happening and my head has been spinning just a little!



Nicaragua took a piece of heart. It was one life changing experience after another! I pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of. For someone who I thought was afraid of heights, I not only climbed two volcanoes, but I boarded down one and laid down on the edge of another. I can’t even begin to tell you the feelings that came over me to see such sights as lava rumbling beneath me and the views as I was sliding down on some wooden board at 30km an hour. I have never felt more proud of myself! The one moment I will remember though was during our sunset yoga session. It was at the end when we were in savasana. It was in that moment, as I took in my surroundings, that I completely let myself go. I finally felt the weight of what felt like the world on my shoulders just totally release itself. The tears came almost as an expression of washing away everything I had been carrying for months. And I finally felt free. It was such an incredible moment of release and one that truly set the tone for not only the rest of my travels, but for this new journey I am on.




When I returned from this amazing adventure, not even 24 hours later I was moving into my new home. An emotional task and doing it while jet lagged…not the greatest combo. But I was blessed to have family and friends alongside me for support. It didn’t take long before I finally started to feel settled. I had been waiting a very long time for this new start to happen and now that it was here I started to feel more at peace. Like I could really truly begin to live my new life now.

What’s been interesting is that I have been waiting a crazy long time to finally feel settled, to feel like I can now start my journey…and it all just decided to happen all at once! I had someone come up to me and say how most wouldn’t be able to handle such an amount of change and all the emotions that go along with it. Well, if I have proven anything since being on this planet, it’s that I am not most people haha! My life never likes to take the easy way…it likes to be challenging and it enjoys throwing some curveballs at me too. But I have learned that it is so important to make sure you are taking care of you. Whether it’s because you are going through a high amount of change and stress or not…we tend to forget to take care of ourselves first. It’s ok to be selfish and make time that is truly devoted to ensuring you are taken care of. Doing things that make you happy and whole. For me, having all this happen at once meant I needed to step back and focus on me and my life. I had to be able to say no to people and when people didn’t understand why I wasn’t present or active in areas I used to be, I was straight forward and honest by saying I need to focus on me right now. A sentence I never felt more proud to say.

So one month (ish) down, many more to come. There will be more change, I am sure…hopefully not as huge or that involves more packing! There will be more travels, you can count on that! But honestly, I’m just thoroughly enjoying living life one day at time and making the most of every moment. And I hope you will join me!

New Chapters & Closing Old Ones

One more sleep until I fly off to Nicaragua!!

But…it’s also one final night in my home.

I had no idea when I booked this trip back in October that I would also be moving from my home of over 5 years at the very same time. This trip definitely comes at the best time for me. I will not argue that. I am feeling so emotionally drained, exhausted and completely at capacity for being able to take on any more in my life. Travel recharges me, sets my soul on fire and also gives me the opportunity to learn about myself too. All the things I am really in need of at this moment.

But it has been very hard to get excited about it when in the middle of packing for my trip; I am also packing my life in boxes. It’s funny in a way because I am someone who always craves change. By year 3, I wanted to move. Every other month I want to travel and every week I’m thinking of what car I could get next! This has a lot to do with my childhood, but that is a post for another day!

But here I am going through SO MUCH change all around the same time and all I can think about is just crawling into my bed and letting the world just go on while I keep sleeping! I don’t want any more change. I’m good right now! I’ve had more than enough to last me a good….year. 😉

I also didn’t think my moving from this house would be in this manner, which definitely makes it more difficult. And if you’re just tuning in to my blog I suggest you read the first post to know just what sort of manner I’m talking about. But to sum it up, a divorce is like an onion…it’s not cut and dry. It comes with many, MANY layers of stuff you couldn’t have imagined dealing with! Not only am I packing up my belongings, I’m unpacking so many memories along the way. I’ve had to go through so many items and throw out things I never thought I would be throwing out. It reopens the sense of loss that I thought I had dealt with but I’m finding it may come and go for a little while longer.

Something I am guilty of is pushing down emotions in order to not feel them because they are just too much for me to handle or so I believe. I would rather be happy and full of joy…I mean who wouldn’t? But what I find ends up happening are these emotions creep back up, at times where I least expect it and when I’m not at all prepared to deal with them. But honestly, when are we ever really ready to deal with these feelings? The sense of loss, grieve, sadness, pain, anger…who can actually say they are ready at any moment to take these on? Not me, that’s for sure. I am learning, however, to not run from them anymore. I’m digging up some courage to face them as they come and embrace them. Letting myself accept them for what they are, giving myself permission to feel and know that it’s ok. In doing so, I truly believe it will help me move forward without dragging along a suitcase full of untapped emotions and unhealed pains.


Last night I was encouraged to take some time to say goodbye to my house. Yea…as soon as the words came out of the person’s mouth…I cried my eyes out. I realized then that I had been holding so much back, protecting myself from really feeling the sense of loss that I was experiencing. But by doing that I was robbing myself of an opportunity to really give myself closure. So I sat on the floor this morning and said goodbye. Even as I type, the screen gets blurry from my watery eyes. Amongst the heaviness the home brings me sometimes, there are also a lot of memories. It was the first house we bought. The place I planted my first tree. My first attempt at growing a vegetable garden happened there…and only lasted one season! I hosted my first ever turkey dinner in that dining room. I have danced solo a lot in that living room, sometimes with the curtains open not caring who saw. Parties, sleepovers, laughter and tears. This house has seen it all. Though it’s sad, it also feels good that I’m letting myself grieve this loss, this end of a chapter. By doing so I will be able to move on knowing I acknowledged and honoured all that it gave me.

So, yes, I leave for Nicaragua tomorrow! I am a big believer that things don’t just happen…there is reason for them. Whether you want to call it fate or God, this trip and when it is taking place is all a part of my journey that was planned out for me. It couldn’t come at a better time. It will allow me the time to reflect on the last few months and to look ahead at the next ones. It’s a chance for me to be present in the moment and present with me. But for tonight, I am going to continue to say goodbye to my home, dance and sing solo one last time in that living room and be grateful for all that it gave me as I prepare to move forward.


It’s Not Always Rainbows & Butterflies

ok not to be

Sometimes I get the sense that people think I’m always ok…like everything is good. Maybe it’s perceived through a lot of the images I post and the events I share. At first glance, and if that’s all you take, you would think I’m completely happy and have it all together. I have actually been told this by a couple of people before! Well I hate to break it to you…it’s not true. I have low days. And I’m writing this now because I’m just coming off of a couple of days where I felt anything but happy. I’m preparing to move out of a house I lived in for over 5 years, I’ve had some complicated challenges this past week, & I’ve been forced to look very deep within myself and have sometimes not liked what I have seen. But what I realized through all of it is that I still felt I had to keep up this face that I’m ok because people assume I always am. Crazy, right? Thankfully I have patient friends in my life who let me completely crumble in front of them and vent til there is no more wine left and nothing else to say. But all of this got me thinking. Why do I feel I have to hide it?

Most of what we see through social media are these images of people having fun, who look like they have it all together. I’m guilty too! But it’s like we have this pressure to measure up to it…to constantly show our ‘friends and followers’ that all is right in our worlds and look at us being completely together and emotionally perfect. HA!

The reason I started this blog was because I wanted to share my journey with others, knowing full well it would not be all rainbows and butterflies. And I wanted to share the good with the ugly because that is REAL! Life is not all good..sorry! It has major bumps along the way that can leave you with some nasty bruises. But they heal, you learn and you move on! But that is a HUGE part of the journey of life! And why should we feel we have to hide that part of it? It only constantly makes us feel bad to see people only happy and questioning why we can’t feel or experience the same! And I will be the first to admit that I get those same feelings too when I go through my social feeds. Well guess what? They’re not always having a good day! And for those who have said to me ‘you always look so happy and put together’ > I am not always all put together…and the major life challenges I have faced have proved that! But the moment we realize that life is not all made up of what we see on our computer screens, we start to see the reality of the world and accept the unhappy & unpleasant moments as a part of life.


So yea, I sometimes have really sh*tty days where I feel lonely, sad, angry and anything BUT joyous. Because, as I go along in my journey of major life changes, those feelings are going to come along with it. In fact, I’m always going to have those emotions come and go…because that’s life! And once I accept them as a part of life’s process…strangely enough…happiness starts to creep its way back in. Because I realize that I’m normal, I’m not alone, and that I have to sometimes go through those emotions and tough days in order to learn how to get to the good ones!

So I guess the point I’m really trying to stress is to not look at my Instagram and Facebook and take those images at face value. Yes, those were true moments of happiness and fun. And I love sharing them with the world because I believe we need to live more in the moment! But remember that those are moments and don’t paint the entire picture of my life. Yes, for the most part I have really great days and live with a lot of joy and happiness. But it has its struggles and that’s reality. And I want to make sure you see the tough sides of it too because maybe you need to know in this moment that you are not alone <3